And blocking the bloody roads. Tosser.
It's only just crept into December and it's happening already. Some big parade shutting the main streets in town and stopping people getting home after a hard day's work so some fat nonce in a red suit can con parents into giving him money to lie to their children about the true meaning of Christmas. And give them a plastic toy made in China with sufficient number of small parts for them to choke quietly on in the back of the Renault Espace on the way home.
And anyway - I thought Santa had some special sledge pulled through the starlit snowy sky by flying reindeer or some shit like that. Not a wooden contraption on a trailer with two model elks being towed by a f**king Land Rover through Birmingham.
And what's with Santa anyway?
"Hello little boy - come and sit on my knee and whisper in my ear about what you would like and I'll give you a surprise".
Dirty, fat, beardy, kiddy-fiddling tosser.