Tuesday 28 July 2009

Wank For Peace

It's quite simple.

There are too many wars, too many pub fights, too much civil unrest, too many arguments. People are always fighting.

We need to do something to promote peace and I thought about a march or a protest or some campaign but that all seems like a great deal of hassle to be honest. However - wanking is something we all do, at least once a day, and it's fun (I assume everyone does do it at least once a day, right?!?). So why not wank for peace?

I suggested this idea to a few people and they said that they couldn't actually see how it would help. None of them questioned my enthusiasm for wanking nor my commitment to peace, but they couldn't see how it would help.

Well, here's how. War is about aggression. Fights start because people have too much pent-up aggression. What better way to release it than a good old fiddle!? These warmongering lunatics are primarily religious types - and their leaders are ususally revered Religious icons. And what do senior religious figures all have in common? They're celibate. They get no sexual release. It all builds up and they get aggressive.

So I say let's all have a wank - everyone - and encourage your friends and family to do it too. Be careful how you phrase it and which of your friends and family you address your comments to or you could have a really awkward meal time.

So - one and all - come forth and come forth - let us wank for peace.

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